Episode 298 - Spirit-Filled Relationships

In today's podcast, the brothers discuss what Christian relationships look like. Ephesians 5:28-33

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:27

So uh it looks like you're having some uh trouble with your uh headphones there.

unknown 0:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Yeah. So uh yeah, they they go over your ears. That that's the uh Oh there you oh you got it. Congratulations, welcome back. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, so so that was odd seeing you uh I know. Oh, the music started. I thought you were ready to go, and there you are playing uh you know my ears on. You'd gotta have those on because we're sitting right across from each other, but you we have to wear these headphones.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Is that you over there? That's me.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

They're tangled up in your headphones. That's what I are welcome to another episode of Two Brothers One Bible Podcast. I'm Robert Dwakefield. I'm Peter Sears. And we are going to finish chapter five in theory on today's episode. So, Peter, tell me your thoughts of what we've gone through so far here at J.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

You know, all of Ephesians is he's he's just raising the bar. And and I guess in our humanity, we we constantly lower the bar.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Yeah, we want to make it easy.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

We want to make it easy, and so you know, but but it's not the way of Christ. No, it's not the path of Christianity. And so Paul's just being very clear about this is this is how it looks. Right. And if our light is not l living in in this brightness, if we're not repelling the darkness, if people aren't seeing the difference, it it's not making an impact.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

It's not making any difference at all.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

No, right, and so he's being very pragmatic in how this looks, and so he's he's been talking about our most intimate of relationships with husbands and wives. Right. And then he ties it in together about how how the you know the Jesus is the is the groom and and the church is the bride, and he continues that theme uh for these next few verses.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

All right. So so that's uh I think that's a great setup. So let's go ahead and let's read uh verses twenty-eight through thirty.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

All right. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery. But I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each uh one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

All right, so that is the word of the Lord, and when we see verse 28, and it starts out with in this same way. Right, he's referring to the verses uh above that, of course. Yes, but he is actually drawing a picture of in the same way how we're supposed to be just like Jesus. Right. And you know, there's no other way around that. No, you know, because uh if we say, well, you know, I can get married under these circumstances. No, no, in this same way that Jesus thinks of his bride in the church, that's how we're supposed to approach our marriage.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Yeah, yeah. He doesn't say, you know, if you could kind of do it or if it looks similar. He says the same way.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

It's the same way.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Model this.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Yeah, this is mimic this, as we talked at the beginning at the beginning of this chapter. Um, so he he's he's shifting uh his metaphor too here. He's talking about the body here. Uh the key idea is the husband and wife are are of one flesh, and to harm her is to harm yourself. Yeah. Now, isn't that an interesting way of looking at it?

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Yeah, well, and also, you know, and he'll be bears this out more in verse 29, but I I don't have any problem loving my body. Right. If I'm hungry, I feed it. Exactly. If I'm thirsty, I give myself a drink. Right. If I'm tired, I go take a nap. And so I know I'm very attuned to what my body wants and needs. Now, sometimes it's asking for things it shouldn't have. Right. And sometimes I give it. But you know, I I shouldn't have that, you know, fries with a big cheese. I know that. But my front my my body says I want it.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

But I don't have any problem figuring it out. Exactly. You know, I'm getting a lot of information from my body. And so he's saying if if you're so in tune to who you are, you need to be in tune to others. And in this context, with your with your wife.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

With your wife. And and when you when you're that's a great illustration because you do know what your body needs. Sure. And and if it's that cheeseburger, yeah, you know, sometimes sometimes. Hey, uh it happens. Yeah. Um, but you know, the thing is, we we like you said, we know that. Yeah. We know that, so that's how we should treat our wives in the same way.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Well, and it goes a step beyond that because I know what I need. I also know what I want. Right. I know what my my dreams are, I know what my aspirations are. You know, you know sometimes we struggle. You know, we even we even sometimes yell at our wife, I don't even know what you want. You know, and well, that's on us. It is. And sometimes we treat them like we treat ourselves, and we thought, well, I would have liked this, this, this drill. I don't know why you didn't want it for a Mother's Day gift, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Nothing speaks Mother's Day like a drill.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Yeah, you know, I thought it's got variable speeds, and I put in some drill bits. Why, why are you acting like this? Right, exactly. You know, but sometimes there's this big disconnect because we're just not listening, we're not focused. And so if our focus is I want to get them what they want, I want to make them happy, I want to see the delight in their eyes. Right. Even if that means I have to be sacrificial on my end, it's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

It's worth every bit of it. Yeah. Yeah. I love the way he says he who loves his wife loves himself. You know, and I uh this is an opinion uh question I wanted to ask you. Were the Ephesians having trouble with husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church? Where were husbands having difficulty in that time period with that?

SPEAKER_00 6:50

I I've I'm I'm I want to think it started with Adam and Eve, and I think that's why he goes to Genesis in in this. I think this is a a primal thing that we're self-centered people. Okay. I think I think we're very self-serving. I think we we are good to be in a tune to what we want. You know, I talked about Christmas at a couple podcasts back. You know, you if you watch the commercials at Christmas time, they're all bent towards get yourself something nice when you're out shopping for others. Oh, yeah. We have really turned this into pleasing self. And so there's this whole movement of take care of number one. You know, no one's gonna look out for you like you will. Right. You know, you deserve a spy day, you deserve your own vacation, you and so we really elevated, and you know, we are just people in the church, and so we bring these ideas with us. And so, you know, Paul's saying, look, instead of focusing on you, focus on your number one who is who is your your spouse.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Right, right. That's a great point. So let's talk about verse 29 because I think he really takes verse 29 and he says, Look, even you can't be this dumb. Yeah.

unknown 8:11

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

If I was gonna try to say, you can't be this after all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. You know, no, yeah, you could you nobody hates their own body like you mentioned. You you go to the doctor when you need to. Yeah. Um, are you a doctor person? Do you like to go into the doctor? I like my doctor. Well, well, well, now too. That's pretty good. You know, the a lot of guys don't like to go to the doctor. Right. I'm not going. Yeah. I'm not going to see a surgeon. I'm not going to, but you know, if you want to, if you love your body, you're going to take care of it. And that's what he's talking about. That no one ever hated their own body.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Sure. We have no problem pursuing happiness.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

You know, and so I I I think I need to go play golf. I think I need, you know, and so whatever it is that makes us happy, we we want to do it. Now, I know there are people that are sadist who who want to hurt themselves. And but Paul's saying if you're in a healthy mind, right? You don't have any problem, you know, just doing whatever you want for caring for yourself. And there's some people, they really take this. I mean, they want to make sure they're properly groomed, and they you know, and so again, that could lead to idolatry where they're worshiping their own image and their body. And so there's got to be a healthy medium in here. But his point is we take care of ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Right. We take care of ourselves, and then that's when he turns it right there. Yes, as just as Christ does the church. Yeah. So there's the difference.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Yeah, Jesus doesn't do stuff for Jesus. Jesus does stuff for the church. Right. Everything that he did, he did for us.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Oh, that is so good. And and it goes on to clarify what this church looks like. It's a verse 30 uh, verse 30. For we are members of his body. Yeah, I mean, he talks about who we who the church is. We are members of his body. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That that is fascinating because you know, when when when Paul writes it in this way, that really brings it home.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Yeah, there's a Greek word, well, there's an English word missing out of the Greek. So the word of is a possessive, but it's the word ek, e-e-k-e. Okay. And so really we are members out of his body. Okay. And so this whole that that you know, out of the sacrificial death of Christ, that's how we come. Right. And so it's just a beautiful image.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

It is. And one of the things too that he mentioned, uh, the word cherish in there, um it it's to be warm and to to tenderly care for. Uh and this this guy wrote like a mother bird warming her young. Oh, yeah. Uh that that was kind of the image. It's not this is not a cold duty that Jesus has for us, it's just tender affection he has for us. I like that. Um so in verse 31, for this reason, this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. And that is a quote out of uh I think it's uh Genesis. Yeah, Genesis 2 24. Yeah. So he is actually going all the way back to the beginning, if you will, uh, with these Ephesians, because they wouldn't have had that. No, probably not. Probably wouldn't have had Genesis or anything. So, yeah, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. So talk about uh this this leaving part.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Yeah, I think he he's talking about how this is just fundamental to who we are, and and that you know, he's he talks about how in chapter one in Ephesians how God predetermined. So what he's doing is saying from the very beginning, right, when he he created Adam, and then he created Eve, this this was just fundamental.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Yeah, this is this this was his laws, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

So this is an it's not a new law, you know, it's not a new command I gave you. This is just something that that God created from the beginning, and and this is a it's it's a wonderful image because you know he's talking about husbands and wives, he's talking about Adam and Eve, and then he's talking about the Christ and the church, and then he's talking about the church being the bride and him being the groom. I mean, there's a lot here lots going on, you know, and so he's saying that I I like what he says in 32. He says it's a profound mystery. So I what's the profound mystery? Is it is it what what Adam and Eve did that the two become one, or is it a profound mystery about how Jesus is the groom and the church is the bride? Right, you know, and I I'm thinking he's just going, man, it's just I think again he's thinking from the very beginning, God set all this up. Right, he's a bit of it up. Yeah, I think he's just kind of just just just kind of overwhelmed by the thought about how intentional God has been in all these things.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Right. You know, verse 31 has has three things in it that that I wanted to he talks about three movements in here. Uh leave, which is to give yourself a new loyalty.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Okay. Uh cleave, which is a bond, a covenant between you and your wife, and become one flesh is the unity of life, purpose, and intimacy. I mean, those three things happen in that one verse. Yeah. It's amazing to me. Yeah. Because this is not just simply a uh a physical union. This is a merging of two lives. Right. And and he can then he compares it to Christ and the church, like you just mentioned, how we're merged together with him.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

What a beautiful picture that is.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

It is. But how dysfunctional do we see so many churches because they're not doing what he's outlining here in chapter five?

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Well, it's because uh because we're selfish.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Uh as as human nature, we're just selfish people. Right. And when we're not being loyal to one another, uh all through this chapter he's talked about this. I mean, you can see where dysfunction can come in at any point. Right. And boy, we've really got to be careful of that.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

You know, we do it so easily. I mean, you talked in a couple of podcasts before about how we should we should be stirred to worship when we see other people worship. But how many times do we say, I hate that song?

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Oh, look at their they're just they're lifting their hands. I can't believe that.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

I can't believe they're lifting their hands.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

I can't believe he preached out of the old testament again. Why when's he gonna get into the good stuff? And we got this such this bitter spirit, and again, it's all about me. I want to sing this song, I want to hear this verse, I want to leave feeling this way. Right. We're we're not being submissive at all. Yeah, that's the problem. And we're crowding out the spirit because we got all this pride and gunk in our lives. We just need to empty ourselves and say, just feel me.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Yeah, exactly. And the podcast a few podcasts ago, when you did talk about your two-liter jug, yeah, and with with all of our problems crowding in that two-liter jug, there's no room for the spirit. No. And that was just uh that was a great illustration, by the way. And so I'm gonna use that in the future. I just it's all yours. Yeah, I can't do I sure owe you money for that. It's gonna be free of charge. Yeah, absolutely. It's you, Robert. Well, I just really think that it's just important that when we are this when I looked at this whole chapter about how we're walking in in you know, in unity and walking in the light, and then then we have this the section where it talks about the the human aspect of it, how we all come together, and how that ties to Christ. Yeah, you know, it is a profound mystery. It is a profound mystery. Yeah, I can't you know it's no wonder uh he put it in these terms to help us understand.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Yeah. Now I want to give you a a Greek word because I know you love Greek words. Did you look up the word profound? Did you? No, I I did not. Okay. Well, I want to give it to you. All right, I'm ready. The Greek word for profound is mega.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Oh, you're kidding. No, it's a good one. Where we get where we get mega mega, yeah. Anything, mega bonus, mega mega tron, mega. Anything anything mega means it means great. Great. Yeah.

unknown 16:17

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

So I wanted to add that to your arsenal of Greek words.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Well, you know, because of of because of my extensive experience in the Greek. It's uncanny. Yeah, it it's well, it's something. Yeah. I don't know if uncanny is the word. I thought that was a Greek word. If it's not, it should be. All right. Any other thoughts about chapter five that you want to uh to leave with? We didn't talk about verse 33. Each one of you must uh love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Um I think it it just Paul is just ending this little section with a little summary. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

It's almost like he forgot where he was going.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

You know, like he interrupted himself.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Yeah, it it feels that way. You know, I don't know where he felt. I guess maybe in verse 28, he felt like uh he he deviated. However, you know, let's let's get back to the topic. Uh, you know, let's close out with what I was saying, because he really he repeats what he said. Right. He's just reiterating it, but he's he again he's imploring us to love this this agape, selfless, supreme, Christ-like, unconditional, I'm never gonna stop loving you no matter what you do or how you act. Right. Aren't we grateful that he loves us?

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Can you imagine what we'd be like if he didn't love us now? Oh my goodness. If if God was fickle in his love, oh you know, there's people that that's part of their doctrinal stance is God loves me now, but he could fall out of love with me tomorrow. Right. And you're always in this constant fear of am I doing everything right?

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Am I going to lose my salvation?

SPEAKER_00 17:53

You know, I I imagine there's some husbands and wives feel that way. That it's a volatile situation, they act this way, this way, and this way, you know, and it's like, how how what am I supposed to do? Right, right. And and no one should be in that. And certainly when it comes to our loving father, he loves us warts and all.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Now he he he champions us to be better, right? To to raise, uh, to be people that are in the light, not in the darkness. Uh, but he tells us, it's interesting, he tells us that as for the for the man he must love. For the wife, she must respect.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. That that's really, really good. So, chapter five in the books. There you go. What do you think? Yeah, we did it. Uh it's just an amazing chapter on just everything that he went through uh and how he compared everything. Yeah. And how it all ties together to being in the light with Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

The only thing would be better if he wrote one more chapter.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Well, lucky for you, he did. You're kidding me. No, we're gonna do that on the next podcast. Chapter six. Chapter six. It'll be the final chapter. And he named it six. Well, I don't know, he did. Oh. Somebody did.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

You did? No, I didn't. Thank you, Robert.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Well, you know, it's what it's all about you, Peter. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

If you named it seven, I would have You would have been upset. Couldn't sleep.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for listening to Two Brothers One Bible Podcast. I'm Robert Wakefield. I'm Peter Searson. And we will uh we will attack chapter six. Oh, yeah, we're going in. Okay. Thanks so much for listening, and God bless.